Thursday, 8 May 2014

Happy 4th Anniversary to my hubby Ian!!!





Four years ago today my life changed, forever, and its all thanks to that man ^!

Four years and one day ago I never thought I'd get married. Or ever really fall in love, or trust someone not to hurt me. I'd had a particularly disastrous and painful relationship six years before that day in 2010, which made me especially gunshy when it came to men. My ex, lets just call him Bellend, had been emotionally abusive, he cheated on me and lied through his teeth about everything. I never actually knew the real him, I suspect nobody ever did (he's married now, my commiserations to his wife, she'll have a lot of misery to deal with in her life!). He was basically the opposite, in every single way, of Ian.

Now, I should also mention, that I was never really interested in relationships. I used to get bored easily, and didn't like blokes that were sweet and nice. I suppose every girl/woman goes through that phase, right? I used to have my fun and that was that! I saw no use for a relationship. My worst fear was being referred to as 'Janand....', as one entity, never referred to alone but always with another person's name tacked onto mine. What can I say? I was an only child, its all just psychology! So when I got a message on MySpace (I know, remember when we used to spend all day on MySpace? Back when it was the only social network that counted?) one Saturday morning in April, saying thanks for accepting a friend request, I just replied with 'no worries, you're welcome'....or words to that effect anyway....I never expected anything would come of it. As a side note, I wouldn't even have bothered replying but for 2 reasons....1, I had just got my first BlackBerry handset and everything was linked up, making it easy (and quite novel!) to respond from my phone and 2, I'd had to get up really early to buy tickets for Peter Kay's stand up tour for my mum's birthday (I did get them, but we could only get tickets for October 2011!). If those two things hadn't happened, I would still be single now. Luckily for me I did reply, and we spent to day chatting, online at first and eventually by text.

I still never really believed we would meet in person, or if we did meet, I thought nothing would come of it. Again, luckily for me I was wrong, on both counts. Ian wanted to meet up, but I got somewhat scaredy cat like, and kept trying to put him off. Then one day I just said to myself 'what do you have to lose? He's a nice guy, and if nothing else you'll have spent the day in nice company'. So I suggested we meet that weekend. I think part of my fear was that this sweet and attractive man would reject me when he met me, my ex did quite a number on me! So, when the day arrived I drove over to Yorkshire (cue many jokes about grumpy Yorkshire men and Lancashire vs Yorkshire. Don't worry, he's heard them all, mostly from my dad!) to meet him at a pub near his house. I parked up and waited, nervously, for his arrival. When he drove into the carpark and I saw him in person for the first time, I felt a very odd sensation. It was almost like my heart dropped, soared and stopped, all at the same time! I'd half expected to not fancy him as much in person, I was always very picky, but I actually fancied him a lot more. He had stopped at Halfords to pick up a fuse for my car stereo, as it had died on me and I can't live without music! He got out of the car, barely looked at me, then said 'open the door then'.....my heart truly did drop then! I was stood, in a pub car park, trying to decided if it was worth leaving straight away or should I stay for a bit seeing as I'd driven almost 40 miles to get there! We walked, pretty much silently, into the pub and queued at the bar. I asked if he wanted anything and he said no, so I ordered a coke for me, mostly so I had something to fidget with to make me feel less self concious. We sat down and I passed him his birthday card (which was on the Friday of the following week), then we sat awkwardly for a while. He hardly looked at me, nor said a word, until he suddenly reached for my left hand and started asking where my scars came from, one by one (don't worry, I haven't had terrible injuries or anything, I just climbed a lot as a kid and fell over drunk a lot when I got older!)....apparently that was his way of breaking the ice!

After the initial awkwardness, we both relaxed and had a great day together, neither wanting to leave the other. We spent the next week missing each other hugely, then we met up on his birthday to see a film. I bought him a Top Gear birthday cake, and some presents....wasn't much, just a Scream DVD boxset (pre Scream 4), The Frighteners  on DVD, as he had never seen it, a stuffed giraffe and a book about writing in the horror genre, as thats what he said he'd love to do. He looked at me as if I'd hung the moon, at which point I discovered his earlier life had been rather devoid of much love and attention. I did later meet the main culprits of this, and suffice to say we no longer have contact with them!

After that first week, things moved really quickly between us. On by 31st birthday that September, 4 months after we met, he proposed to me. We booked our wedding on the 8th December that year. We set the date for 1 month later, and got married on the 8th January 2011, 8 months to the day after we had first met.

Since that day 4 years ago, he has made me feel loved, safe and cherished every second of everyday, and I feel like the luckiest woman alive. I love you Ian x


Thanks for reading this very extended love letter to my soulmate! Hope it entertained you even a little!

Jan

x





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